Issue date: 11/10/08 Section: News

In this fast-paced life, it is important to have something that makes you escape and live in the moment. An incredible "something" that makes you embrace life and love who you are. There are two things in my life that I truly find happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment in: sailing and skiing. Both get my adrenaline pumping, help me release energy and bring me into my own controlled world. Sailing allows me to work mentally and physically, where as skiing allows me to go at my own pace and release all chaotic thoughts. When I'm standing at the top of the mountain looking over all the peaks, my mind shuts off. I've skied for the past 17 years and still get the excitement of the first time I put on my sister's old Rossignol's in our basement. When I'm on the slopes, there is nothing else going on around me. I'm in the zone. I put on my skis, press play on my iPod and go.

***

Instant messenger away message: "Keep on Dumping Baby … hittin' the Loaf soon."

Facebook status: "Skipping classes and shredding the fresh pow!"

"OK, so I have this paper due, and if I get most of it done, I'm totally leaving with Steve at 9." I know I will still go, even if I don't get the paper done.

"It's snowing so hard out right now; are you seriously going to drive in this?" I know Sarah's kind of jealous she can't just skip class, so she tries to downplay my excitement of the snow. As if three inches of snow almost every hour would stop my friends and me from driving. My parents would kill me if they knew what I was about to do.

"Hell yeah, it's going to be an epic day of skiing tomorrow. I think Steve is going to drive. I really don't want to." Sarah's sitting on her bed with her color-coded binders spread out and multi-colored highlighters all in order. I have Christmas music playing from my radio on the windowsill just to annoy her even more. All my school stuff is spread over my desk. My skiing gear is everywhere: under my bed, on the floor and on my bed. My skis are leaning in the corner by my closet. It's 8 p.m. on Tuesday, and I don't care if there are classes tomorrow - I'm skipping. I'll drive up by myself if I have to.

Post to the UMaine Outing Club FirstClass folder: "Who's heading up to the loaf tonight? I'm heading up late to the cabin. See you on the slopes. PRAY FOR NO CLASSES!!! CRAZY SHREDDING TOMORROW!!!!"

Some of the greatest posts to the folder come when it starts snowing like crazy. Everyone feeds off the previous post. The folder continuously makes the little "ding" sound, and there is always a little red flag on nights like tonight.

"All right, sweet, I'm calling it good on this paper. I don't really care anymore. I'm too damn excited."

"Seriously Jen, calm down. You're annoying me right now, and I have a ton of s--- to do."

I don't really care what Sarah thinks. She doesn't have anything in life that makes her excited, which is sad. "I'm so glad I went grocery shopping the other day. The PB & J's tomorrow are going to be so good. I'm going to take a shower. If my phone rings and it's Steve, answer it and tell him I'm ready whenever he is and to just call me once he picks up Rachel." The door slams behind me. Walking down the hall and into the wonderful Hart Hall bathrooms, I start sensing the fresh powder and open air in my veins.

"Did Steve call?" I ask, opening the door.

"No."

"All right, sweet." I grab my phone and decide to call him myself.

"Steve, when are you coming to get me?" Before he can even finish, "Nice, sounds good, I just got out of the shower, and I have to throw some stuff in my bag, and I'll be all set. I'll see you in 30."

Back and forth, one side of the room to the other, the mental list starts to kick in: ski pants, boots, ski socks, helmet, crappy goggles, gloves, under armor pants and top, jacket, pass, poles, skis, iPod, food, sleeping bag, pillow … check. I'm wearing sweatpants because I know I'm going to pass out as soon as we get to the cabin. I throw my skis on my shoulder, and I'm set. "Peace, Sarah." She doesn't say anything. What a bitch! Zach and Chris are rocking out with their guitars and drums in the room next to us with their door open; I stop and groove a little to their music. "Jen, you totally would skip classes to go skiing," Zach says, laughing at me.

"Ah, yeah, do you see how much snow we're getting right now? Steve is outside waiting for me. I'll see you in a few days."

"A few days?" Zach says, giving me a confused look.

"Well, if it's going to keep dumping like this, I'm not coming back anytime soon." He just laughs at me again and walks back into his room. There are already about four inches of powder as I step outside. "Ah! I'm so excited right now!" I say as I throw my bag in the back of Steve's Subaru and place my skis on the roof rack.

"Dude, me too!" Steve says with his quirky, lazy smile.

"Dude, you were totally smoking before, weren't you?"

"Yeah, I was over at Gene and Eric's. Don't worry, I've got more."

"You better, a--hole," I say as I squeeze in next to Rachel in the backseat.

"Hey Jen, what up? Sorry I had dance so late."

"Whatever, not a big deal. Let's just go!" It's nice being around people who love skiing and boarding as much as me.

***

"Are you guys ready to go or what?" I say to the small group I'm with. Maine Outing Clubbers have a certain spot we sit in every time we go to Sugarloaf. There are a few others from the club besides my small group who are skipping classes today too.

"Hey does anyone know if classes did get canceled today or not?" I kind of yell this to anyone who is listening. It is still snowing in the valley, but that doesn't mean that it is in Orono.

"They are canceled until 12." I don't know who said it.

"Damn. Whatever." I really don't care - I'm not thinking about classes.

"Let's ride Can't Dog first." Obviously Steve would want to hit the glades before anyone else does.

"Steve, come on, let's get the corduroy and powder first. There is, like, no one even here; we'll hit the glades later." I like going into the woods when the trails are crowded with people and everything is skied off, but when it's super sweet conditions, I love making huge carves and going fast.

We take the super quad up and then cut over to Sheer Boom, which is a black diamond and right under the lift. Fresh powder. I put "The Seeds" on by The Roots, take a deep breath, stick my polls out in front of me, lean forward and stretch my back and my legs. Then I stand up. Steve and Rachel are finally strapped in. I push left, then right, gathering some speed. Steve shoots by me, just to be an a--, and I go.

"I don't ask for much these days / And I don't bitch and whine if I don't get my way." There is something about this song that sets my body and mind in the zone. The powder is amazing. It's one of those days I wish I could be more in shape for. My thighs burn - it feels great. My red skis cut through the inches of powder. I lose them under the blanket. The tips peek through as I go faster. I fly past Steve on his snowboard; I catch an edge, instantly lose my rhythm. My momentum is forward and fast so I roll with it, ending up sideways, covered in snow. Snow's all through my jacket, helmet and gloves I do what all skiers do when they wipe out: get up and keep going. The landing is so soft that I barely feel anything. When I get to the bottom, I stand and wait. The rest of the gang is right behind me. "Hey, I think I'm going to go ski a few runs by myself," I say when they get close enough.

"All right, sweet. I've got to go inside and fix my boots." Rachel says as she takes her board off.

New song: "Closer to the Sun," by Slightly Stoopid. There still aren't many people today, seeing as it's a Wednesday. I bend down, unbuckle my boots, ski up to the lift attendant that eases the chair under my bottom and I am on. I sit in the middle of the chair with my legs spread apart, skis dangling in the open air, polls hanging off my wrists between my skis. "All I really needed was a friend like you / Help me through and together we can change." I turn around and I'm off into the Bigalows. Classes no longer exist. Tension between my best friend Sarah and me is resolved. My lonely heart is now filled with love. My dreams are being accomplished. There is nothing in this world that can scare me. I'm successful. I'm brilliant. I love just being me. I float off the lift to Tote Road. It's all me. My Atomics take me on their own path: on the edge, through the middle, through the air and back to the edge. Speed.

Skiing is like a drug. As soon as I see the mountain, I start to get anxious, and my mind starts racing around until I get on the lift. Then the drug has kicked in and I'm calm … relaxed. I don't care what people think of me. I'm not the best skier in the world, but I'm not the worst either. I ski for myself, no one else. I'm on the mountain because I want to be and can go at my own pace. I take mental pictures and continuous deep breaths throughout the day. It eases me and makes me slow down and take in what's going on around me. Sometimes I'll start screaming, or I'll sing really loud when I'm skiing down a trail or cutting my own tracks through the woods.

When I asked my sister how she relaxed and got away from all her worries and stresses she told me she goes shopping. I laughed. I shouldn't have laughed at her. As long as she can find some way to escape, I am happy for her.

I stop on the edge of the trail and put my iPod on pause and just listen. I listen to the snow coming down on my jacket; there is no other noise. Nothing. The birds are all hiding from the snow; there are no other skiers around. Silence. Bliss.

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