2008 Woodie Awards
Harsh Reality: Why taking "a shot at love" is bad for your health
Alicia Mullins
Issue date: 12/6/07 Section: Soap Box
Let's say you have a guy friend who wants to tell you all about his love life. He says he's in love with a girl he has known for just two weeks. The girl isn't in love with him yet, but he insists that by the end of the month she will come around. They have an open relationship ... kind of. She can date other people, but he cannot. She wants to play the field without worrying that he'll meet another girl.
In addition, the girl makes him compete in a series of challenges against the other people she is dating so she can weed out the ones that "aren't really there for her." If he can eat a boiled cow penis in under 2 minutes, the chance of her loving him back will greatly increase.
I don't mean to let down your friend or anything, but this situation does not sound ideal to me. In fact, it sounds like the makings of an abusive, unhealthy relationship with an ill-balanced power dynamic.
However, that's not what the stars of reality dating series like "I Love New York 2" and "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" are telling us. They would argue that the contestants face these obstacles in order for the girl to know who can love her best. Essentially, the more hoops each contestant jumps through, the more likely he is to be her true love.
The hoop jumping, though, only goes one way. One girl calls all the shots, and the men and women who long to love her scramble to make her happy, but at their own expense.
I'll use an example from an especially dramatic episode of "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila." Tila, a bisexual woman, has both men and women vying for her attention. At the end of the episode she needed to eliminate one woman and it was down to Brandi and Vanessa, two girls who strongly disliked each other. Tila eliminated Vanessa, who reacted by physically attacking and beating Brandi. As soon as the cast and crew were able to pry the two girls apart, Vanessa was immediately taken off the set. Moments later, Brandi, in a fit of tears from being assaulted, decided to leave the show. She told Tila that she loved her but that "she just can't do this anymore."
In addition, the girl makes him compete in a series of challenges against the other people she is dating so she can weed out the ones that "aren't really there for her." If he can eat a boiled cow penis in under 2 minutes, the chance of her loving him back will greatly increase.
I don't mean to let down your friend or anything, but this situation does not sound ideal to me. In fact, it sounds like the makings of an abusive, unhealthy relationship with an ill-balanced power dynamic.
However, that's not what the stars of reality dating series like "I Love New York 2" and "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" are telling us. They would argue that the contestants face these obstacles in order for the girl to know who can love her best. Essentially, the more hoops each contestant jumps through, the more likely he is to be her true love.
The hoop jumping, though, only goes one way. One girl calls all the shots, and the men and women who long to love her scramble to make her happy, but at their own expense.
I'll use an example from an especially dramatic episode of "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila." Tila, a bisexual woman, has both men and women vying for her attention. At the end of the episode she needed to eliminate one woman and it was down to Brandi and Vanessa, two girls who strongly disliked each other. Tila eliminated Vanessa, who reacted by physically attacking and beating Brandi. As soon as the cast and crew were able to pry the two girls apart, Vanessa was immediately taken off the set. Moments later, Brandi, in a fit of tears from being assaulted, decided to leave the show. She told Tila that she loved her but that "she just can't do this anymore."
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 3
me
posted 12/06/07 @ 4:32 PM EST
Why are you leaving out the bachelor? It's just as ridiculous.
trev
posted 12/07/07 @ 5:10 PM EST
i love that show. that girls hotttttttttttttt
dj
posted 12/10/07 @ 4:12 PM EST
Nicely written column. Alicia Mullins shows a lot of promise. But the subject matter she chose is unimportant, and Ms. Mullins missed a fundamental truth. (Continued…)
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