2008 Woodie Awards
Election screams sweet, sweet gridlock
Party of incoherence replaces party of incompetence
Eryk Salvaggio
Issue date: 11/9/06 Section: Soap Box
Good news, America: The elections of 2006 have ended. After months of sex scandals and advertisements of Osama bin Laden nuking rural southern counties, we're back to the default setting of American politics: not giving a damn.
Given that only about 600 students actually voted on campus in this election, I know my audience is small. So, for those who care, one thing seems certain: Democrats have won back the House, and possibly the Senate. Nancy Pelosi will be the first female Speaker of the House, with a solid majority behind her. The Senate is neck and neck, regardless of who actually takes control. So it comes down to this: gridlock. Sweet, sweet gridlock.
Say what you will about President Bush, but the man sticks to an agenda. He's not built for compromise. He dangled the specter of a Pelosi House in front of his audiences as a scare tactic, and on Wednesday he had to invite her to lunch. I expect this bipartisanship to last roughly until it's about time to decide what kind of condiment gets spread on their sandwiches. Clinton and Reagan both worked with opposition parties while simultaneously attempting to crush them. But Bush hasn't had to do the whole working-together thing, and he never seemed all that interested in it. The House will be able to ignore Bush's attempts to influence legislation, and Bush will be able to veto whatever they come up with.
Two years of our government doing nothing? After seeing Iraq lost to a sea of stubborn policy, the city of New Orleans swallowed up by a bumbling infrastructure, and nothing but ranting and oversimplification from the people whose rhetoric promises us an ethical, glorious Republic, the sweet silence of do-nothing gridlock is music to my ears.
Because if there is one thing you can count on from Democrats, it's their remarkable ability to do absolutely nothing. If any Democrats believe that the party is in control on account of an inspiring message, creative leadership or thoughtful policy, think again. A plank of wood with a smiley face would have won this election, so long as the log didn't call itself a Republican. Americans didn't vote for Democrats, they voted against single-party rule.
Given that only about 600 students actually voted on campus in this election, I know my audience is small. So, for those who care, one thing seems certain: Democrats have won back the House, and possibly the Senate. Nancy Pelosi will be the first female Speaker of the House, with a solid majority behind her. The Senate is neck and neck, regardless of who actually takes control. So it comes down to this: gridlock. Sweet, sweet gridlock.
Say what you will about President Bush, but the man sticks to an agenda. He's not built for compromise. He dangled the specter of a Pelosi House in front of his audiences as a scare tactic, and on Wednesday he had to invite her to lunch. I expect this bipartisanship to last roughly until it's about time to decide what kind of condiment gets spread on their sandwiches. Clinton and Reagan both worked with opposition parties while simultaneously attempting to crush them. But Bush hasn't had to do the whole working-together thing, and he never seemed all that interested in it. The House will be able to ignore Bush's attempts to influence legislation, and Bush will be able to veto whatever they come up with.
Two years of our government doing nothing? After seeing Iraq lost to a sea of stubborn policy, the city of New Orleans swallowed up by a bumbling infrastructure, and nothing but ranting and oversimplification from the people whose rhetoric promises us an ethical, glorious Republic, the sweet silence of do-nothing gridlock is music to my ears.
Because if there is one thing you can count on from Democrats, it's their remarkable ability to do absolutely nothing. If any Democrats believe that the party is in control on account of an inspiring message, creative leadership or thoughtful policy, think again. A plank of wood with a smiley face would have won this election, so long as the log didn't call itself a Republican. Americans didn't vote for Democrats, they voted against single-party rule.
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