2008 Woodie Awards
Comic Mike Burton's performance a joke
Diana McElwain
Issue date: 2/24/03 Section: Style
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While his name is unfamiliar to most, Burton has worked with some memorable performers such as Emo Philips, Dave Chappelle and Jim Breuer.
Burton grew up in North Carolina and attended Catawba College, where he earned his bachelor's degree in theatre arts. He then moved to New York City to become a comedian. He has appeared in the music video "Softly" by Noelle Noelle, the independent film "In 21 Days," and on the variety show "The Fringe," which features upcoming performers. He has also starred in several off-Broadway theater productions.
Burton can be seen at film festivals all over the country in the independent feature "4 for Dinner," a comedy-horror from the director of "The Risen." He currently performs regularly at clubs in New York City.
This list of credentials seemed wasted in his low-energy act Friday night.
He made no effort to engage the audience, and thus got little from them in return. So little that some members could not help but feel bad for Burton.
"Somebody give the guy some help and pull the fire alarm," Jason Dionne, a third-year political science major, said.
Other audience members were not so sympathetic, as the performance was punctuated by people putting on coats and exiting the room.
While Burton generated little laughter, he did not receive any jeering or booing. Brad Libby, a fourth-year student, said that this was because Burton's act was too pathetic to even make fun of.
"It's like punching a kid with no arms," Libby said.
His topics were neither creative nor interesting. He spent a lengthy amount of time discussing his dislike for reality TV and his personal theory that it was all invented by fraternity boys who wanted to watch people eat slugs. The audience was not impressed.
"I think that 'Schindler's List' was funnier," Dionne said.
Burton tried to add a personal touch by talking about his new marriage.
"To get to the right woman, I had to boink a lot of wrong ones," he said.
Still not getting many laughs, Burton decided to go for the stereotypical target for male comedians and pick on women. When his comment on how girls are bad at sports received a few objections, he made a lukewarm attempt to redeem himself.
"You're right, I do know some girls who can throw better than most guys, and we call them lesbians."
Towards the show's end, Burton made an effort to learn more about the rather somber students before him. He asked the crowd what the most common major was at UMaine.
"Oh, engineering. Toot toot," he said.
This comment is a prime example of Burton's not-so-high level of comedic intelligence.
The show's so-called grand finale was Burton's impression of every video for a sad song ever made, which he performed to the musical stylings of Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You." This generated a few chuckles, all of which were a combination of amusement, confusion and relief that the night had ended.